


Love Incredible

by monlune



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:33:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25311640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monlune/pseuds/monlune
Summary: Seungmin looks down at their intertwined fingers, sees Hyunjin still caressing the back of his hand absentmindedly.He smiles, bites his cheek before he continues. "You touch me like you love me." He points out, like he's endeared. "It fucks with my head, Jin."The one in which Seungmin moves out, and Hyunjin doesn't know how else to touch him.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 83
Kudos: 260





	1. Denial and Anger

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy! So, I'm writing an SKZ fanfic for the first time and I'm kind of excited about it. I think Seungjin is absolutely adorable and I find them aesthetically pleasing together.
> 
> I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER ACCOUNT (ASTERHEART) FOR SKZ FICS SO IF YOU WANNA GO CHECK THEM OUT THAT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH thank u 💖

Hyunjin manages to tear his eyes away from the screen for a split second, wholly convinced he was hearing things. He barks out an incredulous laugh, "You want to what?"

Seungmin stands half in front of the TV with his arms crossed, and if Hyunjin didn't recognize how serious he looked he would have yelled for the brunet to move. "Move out."

The business major leans back with an amused snort, blowing his hair out of his eyes. "Oh. When?" His eyes are back on the screen again, laser focused on passing Jisung's level and anticipating the fuming look on his face once Hyunjin gloats about it in class. "I'm free tomorrow, coach cancelled on us last minute so I'm good to move your shit after two."

Seungmin purses his lips, and Hyunjin doesn't know how he manages to catch that in his periphery still. He sighs, moves even further in front of the TV. "I'm serious."

"So am I. Min, I'm at an insane level, so if you could just kindly move your ass a _teeny_ bit to the-" Hyunjin gets an eyeful of Seungmin's torso instead, clad in what seems to be the missing hoodie in his dresser he's been looking for since last week.

The older sighs, cranes his neck from side to side to catch a glimpse of the screen, even stands on their couch to see his character only to have the all too familiar sound of animated flesh gnashing against animated flesh permeate the room. Hyunjin groans loudly, plops back onto their couch with a defeated huff. "Fucking - Min! What the hell?"

"Stop being so dramatic, Jisung is way better than you at video games anyway." Seungmin quips, unaffected. He pauses, eyes losing its teasing glow. Seungmin stares right at him. "I'm not joking this time."

Dead silence follows, and Hyunjin waits for Seungmin to yell at him, curse him for not doing the dishes for the nth time or for leaving coins in his pockets only for it to end up in their washing machine again. He waits for the gag, the overly theatrical monologue, all the bark with no real bite, but it doesn't come for the longest time. Seungmin fidgets at the quiet as Hyunjin places the controller wordlessly. "What are you talking about, Min?"

"I'm," He begins, fiddles with the front pocket of Hyunjin's hoodie. "Felix mentioned that his roommate is moving out this semester and he needs another person to help with the lease. I told him that I'm interested."

Hyunjin laughs, but Seungmin doesn't follow it up with his own. The taller swallows, "Oh. Oh, you're serious." Seungmin tries to hold eye contact as best as he can, bites his lip in apprehension at Hyunjin's realization. "Okay, give me a sec."

Seungmin loosens the collar of his shirt with a finger, looks away. "Maybe we should talk about this some other ti-"

"No." Hyunjin cuts him off, "You stay here." Seungmin sits down on their coffee table, something Hyunjin notes would have gotten him annihilated by the other if he so much as suggested it.

The taller breathes deeply, stretches his arms out behind his head. He can't quite wrap his mind around what the other was saying. "Woah, okay. You're not joking, alright." Seungmin eyes him warily, and Hyunjin tries not to look as agitated as he feels. "Weren't we planning to move to another place together, like, a few months ago?"

Seungmin nods, placating. "Yes, we were. But I wasn't sure since we didn't talk about it again afterwards, and you were dating Minah at the time." He winces slightly, continues. "It seemed pretty serious, so I started looking around on my own in case you wanted to move in with her this semester instead. Felix, you remember Felix? He was in a couple of my electives last year. Blonde hair, kind of - anyway, he mentioned that-"

"Min, slow down." Hyunjin interrupts, looks at Seungmin who seems seconds away from passing out. "Minah and I broke up, like, three months-" _excruciating months_ , "-ago. You know we weren't even that serious, I told you this a couple times."

"It was serious to you." Seungmin defends, regrets it a second later. "Shit, sorry. Never mind, forget I said that."

"Where do you suppose I go now that you're kicking me to the curb?" Hyunjin asks, half joking. He leans forward, moves to place a gentle hand on Seungmin's knee when the other shoots up to stand. Hyunjin manages to catch his arm before the other could walk further away, pulls him down to sit beside him.

The taller slings an automatic hand around Seungmin's waist, pulls him closer until the smaller's back is pressed against his chest and his chin is resting on Seungmin's nape. "Wanna tell me what this is really about? You think you've house trained me enough to let me wander off on my own now?"

Seungmin sighs, pushes Hyunjin's arms further down his waist in an attempt to escape. The taller pulls him in tighter. "Fucking let go, you monkey."

Hyunjin nuzzles the back of his neck just to annoy the other, blows a raspberry against his skin and smiles at the goosebumps. "Hwang, seriously. Let go." Hyunjin laughs as Seungmin continues to squirm in his grasp.

Hyunjin wraps his legs around the other's torso. Seungmin turns to face him, terror in his eyes and mischief in Hyunjin's own as the taller playfully cranes his head to place a kiss on Seungmin's neck. The brunet yells, moves his head as best as he can away from Hyunjin's lips as he pinches the taller's thigh.

Hyunjin shrieks, arms shooting out to clutch his limb in pain as Seungmin quickly escapes his embrace. The brunet heaves in front of him, sweat already forming near his eyebrows. "How can you pinch like a lobster, fucking hell."

"I already talked to Chan about this. They have an extra room over at their place, I think one of his roommates is on the dance team with you." Seungmin adds hurriedly, ignoring the pointed look Hyunjin directs at him.

"You talked to Chan about this?" Hyunjin straightens up, barely feels the prick of his skin. "Can you give me some time to digest this? I think you planned out my life forgetting that I'm in it."

Seungmin at least looks guilty at that, but he continues. "I'm running it by you now, aren't I?"

"Yeah, when your foot's like an inch away from kicking my ass out the door." It dawns on Hyunjin this time, that this isn't some prank or a long drawn attempt to get him to clean up after himself once in a while. He could recognize that look on Seungmin's face, Hyunjin swallows. "Chan knew about your plan before me, what the fuck? You're not 'running it by me', Min. You're deciding for me."

"Well, you can't decide for me, either." Seungmin retorts, "I don't want to live together anymore."

Hyunjin doesn't think he can deny the fact any longer, not when the other lays it out so simply. "Why?"

Seungmin hesitates, "This would be best for the both of us. Chan's the captain of the swim team, and his house is closer to the West Wing. All of your classes are there." He continues, turning away from Hyunjin as he clears the mess of half-eaten chips on the table. "Felix lives a block away from the clinic and you know I'm going to start my internship next year."

"I'm saving up for a car too, so I don't have to worry about-"

"You're not planning to drive. You get startled at the fucking wipers when they move too fast." Hyunjin cuts him off, hears the water from the sink as Seungmin moves around in the kitchen, _their_ kitchen. "Did you forget the part where we already found a house at Hudson?"

The water stops, and Hyunjin turns to see the other's shoulders slump as he holds onto the sink. The taller walks closer, doesn't think twice about wrapping both of his arms around the brunet's waist. Hyunjin digs his chin against Seungmin's collarbone, breathes in the same comforting smell he's come to associate with the other. "I'm two minutes past the denial stage, Min. I need you to be honest with me."

"Good, I want you to get angry." Hyunjin snorts at that, notices how his own cologne from his hoodie mingles with Seungmin's. He thinks he smells the same. "That'll probably make this easier."

Seungmin lets himself relax into Hyungjin's embrace, feels how warm the other is against his back. He tightens his grip when the smaller moves to grab some paper towels to dry his hands, feels Hyunjin's fingers slip under the bottom of his shirt. The brunet bites his lip. "Good thing I'm already at 'acceptance', then."

The smaller turns to face Hyunjin, not without the business major lifting a hand to brush the hair out of his eyes. Hyunjin is startled to see Seungmin's eyes glassy, shining and crinkling from the sides. "Hey, what? Babe-"

Seungmin laughs, pushes him firmly away as the tears fall. He wipes them as quickly as they land on his cheeks. "I didn't think it was going to be this hard, holy shit." He clutches onto the side of the counter as Hyunjin stares at his face, stock still.

"This is why I don't want to live together anymore." Seungmin gestures to the air between them, he laughs again. "You call me stupid pet names all the time in public, you shithead. You even called me 'baby' in front of Minah."

Hyunjin throws his arms out, surprised at the turn of the conversation. "Yes, I did. I do it all the time, I'm half married to you. You know that." It was always a running joke in their friend group, how they both bicker and act like an old married couple. He doesn't understand what's the big deal. Seungmin doesn't want to be roommates anymore because of fucking _pet names?_

"No, no we're not." Seungmin insists, laughs again like the whole thing is ridiculous. The side of his mouth trembles from the tears. Hyunjin moves closer at the sight, outstretched arms reaching out for the other only for Seungmin to curl into himself.

"I'm crying too much. I'm an ugly crier." Seungmin rubs an arm over his face and it leaves his skin even more red. "This is so stupid, I'm not telling you in the kitchen."

Seungmin moves past him wordlessly and Hyunjin follows on autopilot. The smaller sits on the other end of the couch, cross-legged with his back against the armrest. Hyunjin copies him warily and he has to dig his fingers into his palm to keep himself from touching the other when Seungmin hiccups, eyes red-rimmed.

The smaller's the first to make contact, reaches out to link their fingers together. Hyunjin doesn't miss the bitter smile on the brunet's face when he rubs a thumb against Seungmin's knuckles. Hyunjin waits, and Seungmin closes his eyes. The smaller takes several deep breaths before looking back at him, eyes filled with emotion Hyunjin couldn't for the life of him place.

Seungmin smiles, nothing like his usual bright and giddy grin, "I'm in love with you, Hyunjin." He begins, and the world kind of stops around them. "I have been for the longest time I can't tell you when it started for me exactly."

Hyunjin thinks he forgets how to breathe. Seungmin continues with a chuckle, "I know. Let it sink in. Hard to believe with how abhorrent you are to live with, isn't it?"

The taller doesn't know how to react, doesn't feel that he's actually in this situation. Seungmin doesn't seem to mind his silence, barrels on. "I know you don't feel the same. It's not about that, never about that." Seungmin looks down at their intertwined fingers, sees Hyunjin still caressing the back of his hand absentmindedly.

He smiles, bites his cheek before he continues. "You touch me like you love me." He points out, like he's endeared. "It fucks with my head, Jin."

"I," Hyunjin finally finds his voice again, "Min, I don't-"

"I know you didn't mean to, dummy. You just love too much." Seungmin says, like it's okay that Hyunjin's been holding his heart in his hands for the longest time now. "But, we're graduating soon, and I need to get over this. You."

"I need to love you in a different way." Seungmin insists, tries to make Hyunjin understand as the other struggles to process. "I can't do that when I live with you, makes me too hopeful."

"I'm sorry." Hyunjin says, at a lack of anything to say. Seungmin laughs, ruffles his hair like it was silly of him to say so.

"You don't have to be, I'm the one kicking you out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I do have a semblance of an outline already and I'm planning on writing three chapters for the entire thing. You know the drill, comments and kudos are always, always appreciated. Thanks so much!


	2. Bargaining and Depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin tries to unlearn how everything was with Seungmin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for some reason, this gets a bit angsty hahaha. I wanted to bring out a lighter mood for the story but I feel like the overall premise of it in itself is kind of emotional. Here you guys go!

"Do you want the honey butter or the garlic one?" Jisung asks from behind him, not bothering to lift his eyes away from the items.

Hyunjin continues to scan the aisles, mentally recalls what they have at home before replying. "Why are you asking me?" Changbin pushes the cart in front of them, grabs a few packs of instant noodles along the way.

"You barge in so often we've started to stock up on your shit too, saves us the effort of having to listen to you whine and bitch about our food." Jisung replies, drops both flavors in their shared cart wordlessly. Changbin snorts at Hyunjin's expression, pinches his ear as they turn.

Hyunjin grumbles under his breath. He doesn't come over to theirs _that_ much, Jisung is just a drama queen. "Chan's been walking around half dead at practice these days. Are you guys planning another gig?"

Changbin nods, grabs one of his organic condiments Hyunjin's college budget would never be able to afford. "Yeah, we're performing at District in a few weeks. Jihoon got us a ten-minute set, you're coming by the way."

"I am?" Hyunjin asks as Changbin responds, "Yeah, I think one of Jihoon's producer friends are coming to see us and we need the hype. You don't need to do anything, just wear something without sleeves and bring your face."

Jisung cackles out loud, swings the cart from side to side. "Chan's bringing your roommate too, Minho I think. He's like a Youtuber or something."

"Or something." Changbin teases, luckily missing Jisung's cart. "He's seen your roomie on Chan's instagram and he's been gagging for his dick ever since. If anyone's wearing close to nothing that night, it'll be Jisung."

"Shut the fuck up." Jisung quips and Changbin snickers, "Just tweet about you swinging by or something, get your harem over for a crowd."

Hyunjin tries not to blush to the tip of his ears at that. He won't lie and say that he doesn't know he's popular, beginning his freshman year in college when he was featured in some kind of page for handsome students or something. He can't exactly remember. It helps that he's part of the university's swim and dance team, and that he seems to end up dating 'instagram models' (Jisung's words, not his) most of the time.

"So you're using us, essentially?" The taller accuses and Jisung shrugs.

"I've put up with your shit for so long I think I deserve to profit off of it, don't you agree?" They walk past the detergent aisle, and Hyunjin backtracks once his eyes catch the familiar sight of a blue bottle.

He grabs his phone from his back pocket, dials the number one on his speed dial. The phone rings three times, "Babe, I'm at the supermarket with Jisung and Changbin. I think we're out of detergent at home, do you want me to grab one while I'm here?"

Silence follows as Hyunjin's forehead furrows in confusion. "Min? Is the reception bad over there?"

"Hyunjin, why are you calling me about this? Are you seriously calling me about detergent?" Seungmin asks, and Hyunjin doesn't understand the question.

The other takes in his lack of a response, continues. "We don't live together anymore, remember?" No, Hyunjin didn't remember. The dancer stills, grips the bottle too hard as he stares at it.

He instinctively backs away, falters as he replies, "Oh, right. Yeah, um-" Hyunjin sees Jisung and Changbin from the corner of his eyes, looking at him. He rubs a hand on the back of his neck. "Right. We don't - yeah, of course. Sorry about that."

"It's okay." Seungmin whispers and Hyunjin thinks that no, it's really not. Hyunjin nods, as if the other can see him and grumbles out something similar to a goodbye before dropping the call. He remains standing in front of the shelves, eyes unfocused with his phone dangling from his arm.

Hyunjin snaps out of his reverie, feels the comforting weight of Changbin's palm on his shoulder. He nods, "Sorry, I'm," he sighs, laughs a little like he thinks it's funny, "I've been a bit distracted lately. Let's go."

The two seem to be brighter after that, cracking more jokes and doing exaggerated impersonations of the professors they hate the most. Changbin tells them about his pre-law classes and how they're kicking his ass, and Hyunjin tries not to let the horrors of his business classes creep up on him during weekends.

Jisung drops him off and he has to bite his tongue when he tries to say the wrong address, forces himself to walk into his new building and stares at the unfamiliar door for a few seconds. He notes how different it is from his old home, the dull cream looking nothing like the chipped dark blue. Hyunjin drops onto his bed, resolutely tries to forget ever having another home and another to come home to.

*****************************************************

Hyunjin scuffs his shoe on the cement as he leans back against the wall. The raven-haired boy steals a glance at his watch, looks back at the door with an impatient huff. He's lucky his last class of the day cancelled and he can afford to spend thirty minutes getting bitten by flies outside of a classroom.

The doors to the auditorium finally open, and he sees several students filing out hurriedly to go to their next class. Hyunjin scans the hoard of people, taps his fingers on his thigh as he catches sight of brunet hair.

Hyunjin walks closer to the entrance, matches his pace with the other as Seungmin bops his head to some ballad Hyunjin's sure he's never heard of when he grabs the smaller's arm.

Seungmin jumps in surprise, looks beside him to see Hyunjin with a hopeful smile on his face. He doesn't know why the expression on the brunet's doesn't settle well with him, Hyunjin tries to ignore it. "Hyunjin, why are you here?"

"What do you mean, why am I here?" He asks like the other is being daft. "It's Monday, we're getting lunch together."

Hyunjin continues to walk, pulling out his phone. "The fusion restaurant we saw two blocks from here finally opened, and they're having some sort of opening day discount." He scans his phone for the online bookmark he made of the schedule. "It's kind of an hour past their opening, but we can probably still get good-" Hyunjin realizes Seungmin has stopped walking, "Min?"

He looks back to see Seungmin swaying back and forth on his heels, bottom lip between his teeth. "Hyunjin, we're not living together anymore."

"I know, you've told me over the phone. My roommate's snoring reminds me every morning too." He walks closer to the other, and Seungmin looks behind rather than at him. "What, we're not allowed to get lunch together anymore?"

"No," Seungmin hurries to explain, "No, it's not that. It's just," Hyunjin waits for him to continue and Seungmin rubs a hand down his arm. "Isn't it too soon?"

"Too soon for what?" The taller counters, and he doesn't understand why the other is making things so difficult. "I haven't seen you in days," _Eight_ , Hyunjin notes. "and I can't even hang out with my best friend anymore?"

Seungmin laughs and it doesn't sound amused. "God, Jin. This is not about that. I literally told you I'm in love with you and you want to get lunch with me."

Hyunjin couldn't stop himself from flinching at that. Seungmin fails to stop him from holding onto his hand. "I know, I'm sorry. I just think that - fuck." He looks up at Seungmin's eyes and he grabs on tighter. "Please be honest. Am I losing you over this? And not just as my roommate."

Seungmin finally links their fingers together and Hyunjin's lips twitch up in a smile. "No, you idiot. You're not. I'm still your best friend."

"Good." Hyunjin nods, pulls him while walking. "We can go get lunch together, then."

Seungmin pries his hands away and his arm feels heavier than it was before. The size of Seungmin's shirt makes him look smaller, softer. "When I thought about how you would react to me having feelings for you, this was definitely not what I expected. Haven't you always been the 'bang and bail' kind of asshole?"

Hyunjin opens his mouth to argue when Seungmin holds on to his shoulders. "I didn't think you'd be this much of an idiot when I fell in love with you, so I'm just gonna spell it out."

"I need to not see you," He tries to speak again when the other cuts him off, "for a little while, just for a bit. I swear. I need some time to get over this, and I can't do that if I have you dragging me out to lunch and calling me about detergent."

Seungmin smiles like he's comforting Hyunjin. It feels kind of painful. "I promise you won't lose me, ever. I'm still your best friend, I always will be. That's never gonna change."

The brunet holds onto his hand, fiddles with the ring on Hyunjin's middle finger like he always does. "You're my best friend too, right?" Hyunjin nods repeatedly. "As my best friend, you're supposed to help me get better. I need you to do this for me, Jin."

Hyunjin stares at the brunet, notes how golden his eyes look under the sun and how the strands of his hair fall delicately on his forehead. He tries to burn the image onto his memory, remembers how gently the fabric stretches on Seungmin's shoulders and how he's always felt like the best kind of comfort for Hyunjin. He nods and Seungmin smiles gratefully, pulls him into an embrace Hyunjin isn't sure when he can feel again.

He goes home and sees Chan in the kitchen, with two of his other roommates Minho and Jeongin flipping through their Netflix queue. The older notes the expression on Hyunjin's face, "Did you have to dissect a cat at a bio elective or something?"

"No. I think um," Hyunjin begins, "I think I'm just gonna crash for a bit."

Chan nods hesitantly, "You sure? You can hang out with us, we're bingeing some intense cooking show Minho's obsessed with." He walks over to the other, thrusts a bowl of popcorn in Hyunjin's arms. "It'll take your mind off of things, come on."

Hyunjin agrees, since he can't seem to turn Chan away when he's being this nice, which is all the time if Hyunjin tries to recall. He relaxes around his roommates for the first time, notes how loud Jeongin can get and how brightly he smiles when he's amused. Chan keeps hitting his arm when he finds something remotely funny and Hyunjin is sure he's going to bruise judging from how large Chan's biceps are.

It felt nice to be surrounded by noise, to block out the thoughts in his head for once. He looks over and sees Minho slumped down on the couch with Jeongin's head on his lap. Chan is seconds away from passing out beside him on the beanbag, and Hyunjin laughs out loud for the first time when Chan walks over to grab the remote and trips over an electric cord, falling flat on his face.

They say their good night's, and Hyunjin pulls out his phone to text Seungmin about how weird the things Minho mumbles in his sleep are when he remembers that he's not allowed to, not any time soon at least. He sits on the bed, finds himself flipping through his gallery and being bombarded by photos of Seungmin. Hyunjin finds it funny that he only has two pictures of Minah and one of them was screenshotted from the other's instagram.

He opens his messages anyway, shoots the other a ' _can I text you good night or is that not allowed too?_ '. His phone only beeps after a shower, and Hyunjin ignores how fast he dives in to see. Seungmin replies with a short ' _not allowed_ ' and Hyunjin roughly rubs a towel against his hair.

' _Too bad you can't stop me, then. Good night, Min._ '

*****************************************************

"I need to look hot." Hyunjin insists as he walks out of their bathroom, towel slung around his waist and long hair dripping with water.

Chan looks up from his phone, notes the other is talking to him since no one else seems to be around. "I think you're doing a pretty good job on your own, Hyunjin."

"Good lord, we've gone over this a thousand times. You can't flirt, Chan. Just let the abs and the biceps speak for you." Minho suddenly pipes up, coming out of his room in the skinniest jeans Hyunjin has ever seen, slipping a dangling earring in his earlobe. "You open your mouth and it's like a prepubescent version of you comes out."

"I wasn't flirting!" Chan yells out and Minho rolls his eyes, "I know. I've seen you flirt before and you barely came out of it alive."

Jeongin snorts as he plops down on a chair in the dining room, laptop and a few notebooks in his hands. Chan pouts behind his phone. "Where you guys headed?"

"We're going to District, little munchkin. Chan's coming with us, you don't have to wait up. Jihoon's the DJ so Jeonghan's there for sure." Minho replies slyly as Chan's ears burn. Hyunjin goes into his room to sort through his clothes, doesn't see anything remotely nice to go on a night out in.

"How did Chan rope you into coming, by the way?" Hyunjin asks as he scans one of his nicer silk shirts. Minho stands by the doorway, leaning against the frame. Hyunjin thinks it's entirely unfair how the man is a bucket of pretty and then some.

"You know newbie, nothing gives me greater satisfaction than watching Chan unattractively wheeze when Jeonghan flicks a tiny strand of hair falling on his face." Minho reveals, "I still don't get how Jeonghan finds the lump in the living room remotely anything great to sleep with, but maybe he likes them fumbling with no sense of direction."

Hyunjin laughs out loud, feels the tension seep through his bones at Minho's remarks. They hear a muffled 'I heard that' from behind them that they both ignore, and Minho sits down on his bed. "What are you getting all dressed up for, anyway? Hot date?"

The raven-haired boy pauses, doesn't know exactly how to navigate the conversation as he continues to shuffle through his clothes. "No." He scans a soft, black button down and walks over to the mirror. He continues hesitantly, "Just seeing someone again after a long while."

"I've never seen you this panicked, and I've gone to a coffee shop with you where a girl took photos of you on the opposite side of a glass wall. Is this someone worth the tornado of clothes in your room?" Minho lays down on his bed, propped up with his chin on his palms. Hyunjin doesn't understand himself either, doesn't know why he's getting all worked up at the thought of seeing Seungmin again and wanting the other to look at him and still feel something for him. Hyunjin's being stupid, and selfish.

It's been two weeks of radio silence from the other, and Jisung is _this_ close to tackling him after Hyunjin's many failed attempts of orchestrating coincidental hangouts, where he and Seungmin will conveniently be roped into spending time together along with their friends. Changbin calls him out on his bullshit every time and doesn't meet up with him unless they plan it out themselves. Hyunjin isn't surprised to realize that his friends know about Seungmin's wishes, and it wouldn't be far off to think that they know the reason for it as well. It seems that Hyunjin's the only one struggling to catch up, these days.

"It's," Hyunjin struggles to find the words, "complicated." Minho scoffs at the end of his sentence, scans the pile of clothes left scattered on his floor before picking up a pair of dark wash jeans. "Wear this. Your ass looked great in it when we went bowling last time."

"Who said anything about wanting my ass to look good?" Hyunjin defends and Minho bounces off his bed towards his own room, scurrying back to Hyunjin's own just as the taller has gotten both legs into the denim.

"Honey, you are not wearing a shirt under that deep button-up, I _know_ you're after dick tonight." Hyunjin blushes at that, and Minho notes the unusually shy gaze the other is shooting him.

"I don't," Hyunjin adds, "I've never been into guys." He finishes sheepishly as he sits down beside Minho. The raven-haired boy runs fingers through his hair, brushes a palm down his face. Hyunjin laughs and he sounds a little hysterical. "Shit, I have no idea what I'm even doing."

"Oh. Are you having your first gay crisis, like, right now? With me? Are you sure?" Minho eyes the door worriedly, "I can go get Chan? He's better at this than me, he should know what to say."

Hyunjin turns to see Minho struggling not to squirm in his seat, which makes the taller chuckle. The panicked look in the redhead's eyes dim as he sees the amused expression on Hyunjin's face. "Don't worry, I'm not having a breakdown or anything." He doesn't know how to finish his thought, Hyunjin swallows heavily. "And yeah, it um, it is a guy." It feels like lead in his throat to admit, he wonders how to place this feeling in his chest.

Minho breathes a little better at that, like he's on safe ground. "Do you like him?"

Hyunjin should have seen the question coming, but it knocks the wind out of him still. He fidgets with the button of his shirt, whispers. "He's my best friend."

The older nods, like it's enough. "I can work with that." Minho unzips the small, grey bag in his hands and brings out a few items he lays out on Hyunjin's bed. "Come on, buttercup. Let's get you ready for your um," Minho tastes the next word in his mouth as his lips quirk to the side, "bro."

Hyunjin laughs so hard he thinks the top button of his pants pops out.

They get to District and the haze around the room makes it harder for them to scan the area. The group gets to the VIP section eventually, pushing past drunk bodies. Jisung bounces excitedly from one person to another to greet them, while Changbin gives Hyunjin a simple nod of the head as he sits down beside the other. Hyunjin asks Changbin about their set for the night, gets a vague ass answer like 'Chan will handle it' and he doesn't bother to prod.

Twenty minutes pass and Hyunjin rubs his palms down the front of his pants to wipe the sweat forming on his skin. A long-haired figure joins their table, and Hyunjin doesn't think he's ever seen a man prettier than Jeonghan. He introduces himself like he knows you're captivated by him, and Hyunjin doesn't blame Chan for looking so slack-jawed at the sight. Jeonghan's friends come over to introduce themselves, and Hyunjin recognizes some of them from around campus.

Five minutes before the three's performance, Hyunjin's breath catches in his throat as a familiar silhouette pushes past the throng of people. Seungmin's wearing a loose, dark blue shirt, collar low enough to show his collarbones and a red pendant dangling daintily in the middle of his throat. Hyunjin is acutely aware of how Seungmin is holding onto the arm of another boy.

They reach the table and Changbin excitedly runs up to greet the unfamiliar blonde, clad in a denim jacket and effortlessly handsome. He doesn't remember why he ever dressed up for this in the first place. "Lix, you came. Good to see you, man."

"Wouldn't miss it. Sorry we're a bit late, we haven't missed anything yet, yeah?" He has an accent, because of course he does. Seungmin gets wrestled into a hug with the others, exchanging a quick 'nice to meet you' with Minho before locking eyes with Hyunjin. Seungmin gives him a small smile and a wave, Hyunjin can only manage a nod. He does the same with Felix, doesn't stand when the other offers a handshake. Hyunjin notices the slight frown on Seungmin's face and he's oddly satisfied at the other's expression.

The two squeeze into the other end of the booth, and Hyunjin feels himself relax at Seungmin's easy smile once he hears Chan calling out to the audience. They stand up to see the three better, and Hyunjin can make out the confident grin on Jisung's face once the new track, hard-hitting and fast-paced, starts blaring.

They get the crowd going as always, notices how Chan always stands on the end of the stage where Jeonghan sways to the beat. Hyunjin loosens up enough to jump around, dances with Minho in the limited space around their booth. He can feel Seungmin's gaze on him as he meets his eyes, and the smaller looks away before Hyunjin can think of approaching.

Minho drops an arm around his shoulders to pull him closer, whispers near his ear. "I'm guessing it's the twink with the collarbones?" Hyunjin cackles and gets a few looks from the people in their booth. He muffles his laughter behind his drink.

Seungmin stares at him for a beat too long when Felix catches his attention, whispering in what Hyunjin thinks is way more intimate than how it should be with roommates. His eyes drop down to the blonde's comfortable arm around Seungmin's waist.

Hyunjin shoots back his drink, pulls a startled Minho to the dance floor. The older goes along with him willingly, confused as they sway to an upbeat song unfamiliar to the raven-haired boy. "You okay?" Minho asks and Hyunjin shoots him an easy smile.

"I should be." He replies and Minho looks like he wants to say something but chooses not to. The older tries his best to distract Hyunjin, going as far as to show him silly dance moves that has the other in stitches. A tall brunette slips beside Hyunjin at one point, flutters her eyelashes at him and he's not sure if she's pretty or if it's just the lights. She giggles and puts her hand on his chest, a gesture all too familiar with the other and he should have known how to respond to get into her pants but he doesn't.

He knows it would be so easy to fall back into his routine, to let himself be coaxed into a woman's bed and rush out of it the next morning. Hyunjin's danced this dance too many times not to know how this ends, and Seungmin's presence feels amplified when the woman runs a hand down to graze a teasing finger on his belt. He gives her a polite smile, slurs his words like he's too out of it to even get it up and drags Minho back to their table.

A chorus of 'Congratulations' fill the area as the three settle back down on their seats. Hyunjin leans forward to pat the three on the back, shoots them a teasing smile. He's faced with Seungmin as he sits down on the velvet couch, the brunet immersed in a conversation with Felix on the opposite side. The blonde has a careless arm slung over the back of Seungmin's seat, like he used to do all the time when they were anywhere next to each other. Seungmin nods at whatever the other is saying, flashes him a grin as his right hand lands on Felix's thigh. Felix smiles at him, places a gentle finger over the pendant on the hollow of his throat. Hyunjin's stomach lurches at the sight.

"Jin, you've been acting weird all night. What is up with you?" Minho asks, loud enough for the others to hear. He can feel their gaze on him as he shakes his head. "I think I'm gonna go get some air, the jack hit me a bit weird."

It's a lame excuse, considering he's the farthest from a lightweight in his group of friends. He steps out into the cold, shivers a little at the gust of wind and shoves his hands down his pockets. Hyunjin needs a smoke, he hasn't had one in a long while but it would probably taste better than the bile almost rising up his throat.

"Are you feeling better?" Seungmin says from behind him and Hyunjin feels something hot and seething burn inside his chest. Hyunjin turns to face the other, and he doesn't know why it angers him so much to see the brunet looking confused.

"Jin," He's using the nickname against Hyunjin, he's sure of it. "What's going on? Do you feel sick?"

"Yeah, with you draping yourself all over Felix inside, I kind of do." He replies, and Seungmin's eyebrows furrow.

"What? What are you talking about?" Hyunjin scoffs, doesn't stop himself from blurting out the words bubbling from his stomach.

"You fucking him?" The raven-haired boy spits out, "Did you leave me behind because you're fucking him?"

"Hyunjin, what the fuck?"

"He's touching you so much, it pisses me off." He barrels on, uncaring of the way Seungmin's voice breaks at the end of his sentence. "I don't get to touch you anymore and he gets to do it all the time? Does he make you sit on his lap and kiss his cheek when he's upset too? Does he?"

Seungmin backs away like Hyunjin's hit him, eyes glassy even under the dim street lights. "What the hell has gotten into you? You're drunk. I'm gonna call Chan to get you home."

Hyunjin doesn't seem to have any control over his limbs anymore, easily stops Seungmin from going any further into the club. "Aren't you in love with me or something? Doesn't that mean you're not supposed to be sucking Felix's dick from under the table?"

"Hyunjin, stop."

Hyunjin grabs both of Seungmin's arms to keep him from walking away. "No, _you_ fucking stop. You tell me you're in love with me and go off living with someone else. You let them touch you, but I can't. Did you lie?" The raven-haired man yells out, and Seungmin gapes at him.

"Jin-"

"Please." His grip on the other tightens, feels his eyes water but he doesn't dare brush them away. "Why can't you just come back to me, Min?"

Seungmin stares into his eyes and Hyunjin doesn't know how else to voice out whatever he's feeling. It's almost as if he can't stop himself from letting the words flow out of his mouth, no matter how harsh or pitiful they may be. He needs Seungmin to say something, _anything_.

"What are you guys doing over there? It's so fucking cold outside." They hear Jisung yell out, and Hyunjin can hear footsteps coming near them. Seungmin takes advantage of Hyunjin's distracted state to pry his arms out of his grasp. Hyunjin tries to stop him again when Seungmin runs past him, and Hyunjin isn't surprised to see him beside Felix near the club entrance.

Minho runs to his side, cheeks flushed from the cold and the alcohol. He places a gentle hand on Hyunjin's shoulder once he notices the dark streaks of eyeliner on the side of his cheek. "We should probably go home."

Hyunjin looks at Seungmin again, sees Felix sling a protective arm around his shoulder to pull him close. Seungmin shivers from the cold and Felix laughs like he's charmed. Hyunjin swallows.

"Home, right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a trip to write, I didn't realize the time. I finished this at almost 3 am in the morning, I don't know if I can still proofread it. Anyway, as always kudos and comments are very much appreciated. I wanna know what you guys think. Thank you so much! <3


	3. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin doesn't get to 'Acceptance' and he hopes Seungmin never does.

"For the last fucking time, this isn't a hotel, Jin." Minho yells out, as he begrudgingly slides the food in front of Hyunjin's door. It was a sad plate of leftover pizza, some saltine crackers and a bottle of soda and it was the best they can afford to feed their new pet.

He doesn't bother to knock, knows the other will peek out anyway at some god-awful time in the morning to scarf down whatever his roommates have decided to leave out for him. Chan looks up from his computer with an expectant look, only gets a shake of the head from Minho.

"I am not, in _any_ way, fit for room service, Chan." He continues, dropping on the other end of the couch and running a frustrated hand through his hair. "If you don't plan on using those protein shake-induced baseball bats you call arms to pry open the door, so help me God I will set this room on fire to get him out."

Chan doesn't doubt the other will, with the slowly forming bags under Minho's eyes as proof of his determination. The older knows Minho long enough by now to recognize the worry in his tone, underneath all that snark and backtalk. Hyunjin hasn't been coming out of his room for three days now, the three roommates resorting to feeding him by leaving a tray of food outside of his door. Chan let the other sulk for the first day, coaxed Minho and Jeongin out of picking Hyunjin's lock. The second day was even more alarming, with no actual sign of life from the other and the tray of food remaining untouched apart from the half-consumed bottle of Gatorade.

It's dinner time on the third day now, and Hyunjin's still not coming out of his room. Chan's had half a mind to wait for the other in the early morning, force himself inside Hyunjin's room when the other is slowly creaking his door open to get some sustenance. Jeongin saw the look in his eyes and stopped him before the idea could truly form in his head, convincing Chan that he has a plan. He tries to knock twice, and as always, Hyunjin doesn't reply with his own.

It's four in the morning, Hyunjin realizes as he looks at his phone, when he hears a knock from the other side of his bedroom door. This surprises him, since no one has ever thought to try and make him open the door at this time when all three had classes in a few hours and needed all the sleep they could get. He sits up on the bed, feels vaguely disgusted at waking up with a half-eaten bag of chips near his face, and listens in.

"Jin, you should come out." It's Jeongin, and Hyunjin remembers that the other hasn't tried to reach out to make him go out of his room after the first day. "They're getting worried about you. I think Minho's close to putting metal in our microwave and I like this place. Mr. Boo from next door lets me pet his dog when he takes him for walks in the morning."

Hyunjin sits in front of his door, confused as to why the other is having a conversation with him that doesn't involve yelling or pleading with him. Jeongin doesn't seem deterred by the lack of a response. "Chan's work out lasted longer yesterday, I think he's serious about breaking your door open. We'll help out with getting it back up but Minho will probably force you to get an ugly door, or one that creaks really loudly just to get back at you for giving him dark circles."

"You haven't eaten properly. Chan says that's not good for swimmers." Jeongin states simply, and Hyunjin bites his lip, feels guiltier than ever. "I know we haven't hung out much since I'm a freshman and our classes never overlap, but I think I have a better idea on how to get you to come out."

"It's um," Jeongin pauses, "four thirty in the morning now. I think he'll be scrambling out in a minute or two." Hyunjin's eyebrows furrow, doesn't have an inkling of what the other is talking about.

"I'm going to bed. You should come out now." He hears shuffling from the other side. "You're gonna want to see this." Hyunjin thinks he can hear a smirk hidden in Jeongin's tone.

Hyunjin hesitates, slowly grabs on to the doorknob as he counts to twenty in his head. He doesn't know why he gets this itching feeling to know what Jeongin is talking about. The business major opens his door carefully, peeks outside and doesn't see anything unusual apart from their empty living room.

He tilts his head in confusion, backs away from the door and wary that Jeongin was tricking him only to pounce on him the second the door was open when he hears shuffling from the far end of the living room. Minho's door is opening, and Hyunjin watches as Jisung of all people stands in the doorway, smoothing a hand down his hair into a beanie. His clothes look rumpled, and Hyunjin's jaw drops as the other tries to walk with feather-light steps, stumbles slightly from getting his foot caught on one of the sofa's legs.

Hyunjin opens his door even wider, steps out and locks eyes with Jisung from the other side of the room. Jisung's eyes widen comically. "What are you doing here?"

Jisung replies, "What am I doing here? What are _you_ doing here?"

"I live here, you fuckwit." Hyunjin rebuts, walking closer to Jisung with arms crossed over his chest. He raises an eyebrow, "What were you doing coming out of Minho's room?"

"I was um," Jisung fidgets, tries to avoid Hyunjin's eyes in embarrassment. "I was robbing him?"

"Oh my God, you fucking idiot. I can't believe I had your dick in my mouth two minutes ago." Minho says, more to himself than to them, two fingers on his temple as he comes out of his room. "Yes, we're sleeping together, unfortunately. My dick has this disease where it doesn't sync with my brain properly."

Jisung doesn't seem insulted by that, looks even proud if Hyunjin was being honest. Minho turns to glare at him, "I try to get you out with a fire alarm and you come out for _gossip?_ Unbelievable."

Hyunjin opens his mouth to argue when he feels two arms wrap completely around him, effectively caging him in. He turns to see Jeongin with a smug smile on his face. Hyunjin tries to lift his arm to flick the other's forehead. Chan comes out of his own room, groggy with a tired smile on his face. "You got him out? Great, don't let him come back in again."

"Where's the sack? You told me there was a sack."

Jeongin looks at Minho, offended. "I told you I was gonna get him out, not that we're throwing him off a ditch."

Minho sighs, "Now that he knows about Jisung, I think we might have to reconsider."

***************************************************

Hyunjin tries to preoccupy himself after that, spends all of his time outside and works on unfinished projects and lost connections and tries to pick back up where he left off. It helps that he seems to be more popular single than he is with a girlfriend. Minho doesn't comment about the way he comes home only to sleep, and Chan always looks like he wants to say something when Hyunjin stays longer after practice to swim even after the gym lights are out.

It calms him to be in the water, doesn't feel the weight of his actions and how unavoidable they seem to be whenever he has a minute to himself to think. He gets to close his eyes and feel the water instead, tries his best to ignore the nagging voice in his head. Hyunjin doesn't know what he wants, doesn't know if he wants to beg Seungmin to forgive him, to tell him it was all a lie and that he's happy to keep his distance or to be honest, and to let Seungmin know that he desperately wants to hear the answers to his questions, and that the searing pain in Hyunjin's veins still felt raw to the touch.

He forces himself out of the water only when he gets too lightheaded to continue, feels how wobbly his arms get as he lifts himself out of the pool with pruney fingers. Hyunjin stays under the shower spray for what seems like hours, hates himself for eagerly looking at his phone whenever it beeps and hoping it's Seungmin reaching out to him even when he doesn't deserve it.

Hyunjin comes out of the building with his gym bag slung over his shoulder, says goodbye to some of the dancers still at the studio and shrugs in a non committal way he knows looks even more attractive when they invite him for parties over the weekend. He fixes his hair from under the hood of his jacket. It's getting too long, Hyunjin thinks. Seungmin forced him not to cut it before, joked around that he liked braiding it whenever he was bored. He fiddles with his car keys, almost drops it at the sight of Seungmin standing outside of the exit, looking down at his phone with furrowed eyebrows.

He's wearing a blue button-up that's too big for him, swallows him up under his faded jeans. Seungmin lifts his head, feels Hyunjin's burning gaze as they lock eyes from across parking lot. Hyunjin swallows heavily, tries not to think about how winded he feels at seeing Seungmin again after that night, how his hands twitch from wanting to reach out to touch.

Hyunjin bites his cheek to keep himself from smiling as he walks closer to the other. "Min, why are you-"

"-busting our ass for this routine, like you wouldn't believe. Are we gonna swing by the supermarket to-" Hyunjin hears from behind him as the voice sounds closer. Hyunjin looks at his side and sees Felix half past him, eyes flickering between Hyunjin and Seungmin.

The brunet's the first to break the silence. "I didn't know you'd still be here." He begins, backtracks when he sees the expression on Hyunjin's face as the other physically recoils like he pushed him. "That wasn't - shit. That wasn't what I meant, Jin-"

"I know what you meant." Hyunjin cuts him off before Seungmin can say something else that feels heavier on his chest. He stares at Seungmin even longer, notices the turmoil in his eyes. "Don't take it back, I deserved that."

Seungmin opens his mouth to explain, but Hyunjin doesn't give him the chance as he walks away. "I'll talk to you some other time, Seungmin." Hyunjin can tell Seungmin was taken aback by the formality but he doesn't hesitate to sprint faster, slamming the door of his car with more force than necessary.

Hyunjin grips the steering wheel with white knuckles, hates himself for getting so hurt by Seungmin's words and hating himself even more for thinking he doesn't deserve it after the shit he spewed out that night. Seungmin would be happier, safer with Felix. He won't be living with a ticking time bomb of an asshole with pride bigger than his emotions.

Hyunjin should have said something, apologized over and over and convinced Seungmin that he was still someone the other could trust. He couldn't believe that he let the opportunity slide just because the sight of Felix with Seungmin made him burn from the inside.

The raven-haired boy drives on autopilot, ends up at some university cafe with overpriced drinks and loyal, sleep-deprived patrons with nowhere else to get their coffee. Hyunjin orders a cold drink, sits down at a table outside and feels the heavy weight of the cigarette pack in his pocket. He takes the box out, fiddles with one stick until the butt wears out and ultimately decides to throw it in the nearest bin along with the pack.

"He got you to quit, then. Who knew Seungmin Kim was the bearer of all miracles?" Hyunjin looks up and sees a woman in front of him, all flowy sleeves and ruby red hair. Minah chuckles at Hyunjin's reaction, slides easily beside the other with boundless confidence all too familiar with the business major.

Hyunjin shrugs, "Seungmin held my PS4 hostage and asked our friends to monitor me, drove a hard bargain." Minah leans back and sips her drink beside him, completely disregarding the stares of some of the students who could recognize the pair. She did have a way with ignoring the obvious, Hyunjin thinks.

"I threatened to break up with you and you lasted a week before I could smell you again." Minah scoffed, but it was more out of amusement than actual hatred. "Does he still have your PS4?" Minah asks and Hyunjin shakes his head.

"Figures." Minah nods like Hyunjin answered more than what she was asking. "What are you doing with a pack again, then? Did you guys break up or something?"

"Very funny." Hyunjin tries to wave the comment off, but Minah knows him too well. She raises an eyebrow at him, "You did that thing with your lip, I hit a nerve. That's interesting."

Hyunjin sighs, stops himself from speaking just in time when the cashier calls him over for his drink. He plops back down with a huff, doesn't register exactly how his drink tastes. "We're not roommates anymore."

Minah gapes, quickly fixes her expression like a trained actress. She chuckles like Hyunjin's situation is amusing. "Oh my God, did he finally find out?"

Hyunjin's nose scrunches in confusion, "Find out what?"

"That you're in love with him, Einstein." Minah leans forward on her elbows, lays a cheek on top of her dainty palms. Hyunjin vaguely remembers how beautiful she was when they were dating, how even prettier she got when she dumped him. "It didn't go down that well? That sucks. I thought he felt the same, to be honest."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hyunjin asks and Minah looks at him like he's dumb, which she often did when they were together. "Seungmin told me he was in love with _me_ , not the other way around."

"And what did you say?" Hyunjin curls into himself, fiddles with a paper napkin on the table. "Nothing."

The redhead laughs, but it doesn't sound cruel. It never did. Minah lets the silence fall over them for a little while, tilts her head as she sits closer to Hyunjin. She starts off slow, careful. "What did you _want_ to say?"

Hyunjin gulps, the question bowling him over. He locks eyes with Minah and she still looks soft and kind, he remembers why he dated her in the first place. Minah's hand squeezes his own as he speaks, "I don't know."

He threads their fingers together, doesn't feel the same ache he once associated with memories of her. "Why did you," he begins, "why did you ask that?" Hyunjin questions but he doesn't elaborate, and the raven-haired boy is thankful that the other seems to know exactly what he's talking about.

Minah smiles the same way she did when they broke up at his apartment, tears lingering on the sides of her doe eyes. "I was ready to marry you if you had asked, Jin. I know you too much. It's easy for you to get people to fall in love with you."

She holds his hand even tighter, "I was happy when we were together, happier than I had ever been. There was nothing wrong with you, or our relationship. Nothing at all."

Minah fixes the collar of his shirt, and her fingers tremble slightly. Hyunjin looks down at her as she breathes out. "I think it was the day before Seungmin's birthday, and you were running around all stressed because you thought the customized cake you ordered wouldn't arrive on time."

"I was exhausted from practice when you called me over for the surprise party. You looked even more excited than Seungmin when you were singing, off-tune and obnoxious." Minah adds fondly. "I was standing behind him when he blew out his candles. You put a palm on his cheek and smiled all wide, whispered 'Happy Birthday' like no one else was around. I felt like I wasn't supposed to see it."

She waves one hand around as she continues, "You know that feeling you get when someone pulls the brakes on you too quickly and you get all woozy and disoriented? It was kind of like that, finding out you were in love with him."

"I think you always have been." Minah adds as an afterthought, a hint of somberness in her tone and Hyunjin's stomach drops. "I was half-convinced you were only dating me because you could call me 'Min' by mistake and you wouldn't get slapped for it." Minah giggles and Hyunjin feels even smaller. He struggles to get the words out.

Minah pats his back in comfort, shrugs off the apology on the tip of his tongue. "Don't worry about it, that was on me. I'm okay, don't need your ego to get even bigger than it already is."

Hyunjin rubs his fingers down the condensation on his drink, refuses to look into Minah's eyes once he finds his voice. "You think I can still fix this?"

The redhead turns to glance at him, pokes a manicured finger against his cheek that he tries to dodge. "I saw Seungmin the other day at the library, I didn't know he wasn't living with you anymore." She takes a sip of her drink, flips her hair back like she always does when she's sure of something. "I've given you too much to work with, try to get it right yourself for once."

Hyunjin purses his lips in confusion as Minah rises from her seat, fixes her skirt as she looks back at him. "Check your drawers, Jin. I hope you don't miss it this time."

************************************************

The days pass and Hyunjin goes through the motions. He's functioning enough not to worry his friends, goes to class and buries himself in work to avoid thinking about his recent realizations. He's picking up writing again, doesn't seem to be working out that well for him when all he ends up writing about is Seungmin.

They have tryouts this semester for the freshmen, and Jeongin's gearing up to join the team which Minho resolutely resents since he thinks having three university swimmers as roommates would automatically make him a 'swim team groupie'. Jeongin is excited nonetheless, and Hyunjin and Chan are more than willing to show him the ropes.

It's the day of the tryouts and Chan is in the living room waiting for him, with Jeongin already at the gym buzzing with excitement. Hyunjin, the complete mess of a human being he is, ruffles through his drawers to look for his swim team hoodie. He remembers it never leaving the top drawer of his dresser, since Seungmin used to all but strangle him when he turned their apartment upside down trying to find it.

"Are you gonna take long, Jin? We were supposed to be there five minutes ago." Chan calls out, and Hyunjin is thankful that Chan loves him enough not to go all 'Captain' on him.

"Fuck, I can't find it." Hyunjin mutters, throws on a worn-out t-shirt with the same university colors as he zooms out of his room. They're both part of the executive committee this year, and they need to be there to check out the fresh meat.

Chan speed walks beside him, and they're halfway to the gym when the other asks, "Where's your swim team hoodie?"

Hyunjin huffs, "I've been looking for it since this morning, don't know why it's even missing. I only wear it during swim meets and tryouts." They see their teammates outside as they walk closer, "Seungmin forced me to leave my upper drawer empty before and to shove it in there so I know exactly where it is when I need it." Hyunjin insists.

"Maybe you should ask Seungmin where it is, he might know." Chan offers tentatively, and the realization is like a punch to Hyunjin's stomach.

He doesn't have enough time to process as an arm slings around Hyunjin's shoulders, pulling him inside the gymnasium. Jeongin does amazingly, as expected after weeks of training with Chan and Hyunjin, but the latter barely registers it happening. He rushes out of the building without so much of a goodbye, sputters halfhearted excuses as Chan and Jeongin try to rope him into joining their celebratory lunch.

Hyunjin's out of breath and panting as he reaches the complex, sees how quiet and quaint it is compared to their old place. He knocks three times, hopes he still has Seungmin's schedule memorized like the back of his hand.

The door opens to reveal the brunet, half-asleep with his glasses askew. Hyunjin's heart almost beats out of his chest. Seungmin blinks at him repeatedly, "Jin? What are you doing here?"

Hyunjin looks down at his disgruntled form and bites the inside of his cheek. "You still have it. You did lie, you're not at 'acceptance'."

"What?" Seungmin asks, confusion written all over his face. He looks down to follow Hyunjin's line of sight, and he turns red down to his neck. "I," He hurries to explain, "Jin, I didn't-"

"You're not at 'acceptance', and I'm not either. I won't ever be, and I hate that you rammed so many psychology theories down my brain that we can talk in riddles about it." Hyunjin rambles on, "Minah and I bumped into each other the other day. She told me I was in love with you and I should have realized it before you walked out on me."

Seungmin's eyes widen in response, but Hyunjin is undeterred. "Felix touched you and it hurt, I didn't expect it to hurt that much." He continues, "You laughed at something he said to you that night and I wanted to punch him in the face, it should have made sense to me then."

"But it didn't, and all I ended up doing was hurt you. I'm sorry, I was a fuck-up." Hyunjin laughs, "I still am, a fuck-up that is, but what I'm not is a liar. I'm done lying to myself, and so should you."

"Minah told me to check my drawers since she saw you wearing my hoodie even when we aren't living together anymore. That means something, Min." The raven-haired boy insists, "Please tell me it does, or else I'm just being stupidly in love with you at ten in the morning when you're not even wearing pants."

"Please tell me you haven't let go of me yet, because I don't know how else to touch you." Hyunjin pleads, "We can still work on this, now that I've finally caught up." His mind registers the tears threatening to fall from the sides of Seungmin's eyes. "Min?"

The silence stretches on for longer than necessary, and Hyunjin takes a breath to prepare himself to convince the other even more when Seungmin shakes his head, "I still have a year on the lease."

Hyunjin pulls Seungmin in his arms right then, tilts his chin up to meet his lips and everything finally makes sense. He doesn't mind a year, doesn't mind more as long as he gets to touch Seungmin in his worn-out hoodie, touch him like he can't get enough of what he can reach, and touch him like he's irrevocably in love with him for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene. This is my first ever SKZ fic and I think it got more angsty than I had intended, maybe I'll try for humor and crack next time? ;) This was a quick write, but I did enjoy writing about new characters as well. You know the drill, hope y'all give it some kudos and comments. Thanks so much! <3


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